I want… to turn back time

At almost 20 years old, my daughter is all grown up now. It’s fab – we’re friends, she’s funny, we have fun, she’s a lovely young woman of whom I’m very proud – but sometimes I really miss having a small child around the house.

When she was little, I used to love playing with her toys. Playmobil, especially; she had tons of the stuff, and it’s all up in our loft until she moves out and has kids of her own, who may be lucky enough to get their little mitts on it one day.

I want… a dog

Lately, I’ve been dog-broody.

Our little dog, Jack – some sort of terrier cross; we never knew his breed for certain – died last October, aged at least 16 years. Again, we never knew his age for certain; we found him, one day in 2000, a week before we moved up to North Wales. He was trotting, knackered, along the railway line that ran next to our flat, so we went down and saved him. The police had no record of a missing dog fitting his description, and neither did the RSPCA. Posters on trees and at the local pet shop yielded no enquiries, so we decided to keep him. Jack and the Doo family – we were destined for each other, a match made in heaven.

Jack was a fabulous little dog, with heaps of character. He couldn’t be allowed anywhere near other dogs – he had a real other-dog-aggression problem – but he was fantastic with people, children and cats. In fact, when Mr Doo used to take him for his late night walk, they would invariably be followed by one of the local cats, who were all drawn to Jack like a magnet. Our own cats adored Jack, and would snuggle up in bed with him – whether he liked it or not.

So it’s been almost a year now, and more than ever I’m feeling Jack’s loss. The house just doesn’t feel right without him. Without a dog.

So we’re thinking of getting a puppy, one that we can train to be well-socialised with other dogs, and with cats, and with kids (even though we don’t have any small children ourselves, both our sisters do, so it’s important that we have a child-friendly dog, when we eventually get one).

But what breed do we go for? There are a few under discussion.

First up, a beagle. They’re wonderful dogs – very trusting, very friendly (which is probably why they’re the breed most likely to be  used in vivisection – they’ll literally put up with anything, poor little blighters). If we do get a beagle, I’d love to call it Jeremy. As in, Jeremy Beagle. Ha!

We’ve also thought about standard Yorkshire terriers. Not the miniature, fit-in-your-pocket type – I love them, but Mr Doo would look ridiculous walking one – but the large-Westie-sized ones. However, standard Yorkies are not dogs you see often, because everyone wants the teeny-tiny ones these days.

We don’t really fancy a Jack Russell – at least, not the short haired variety – because, well, we’re just not convinced they’ll be good around the cats, and they do have a reputation for being a bit yappy and snappy.

I’d really love a border terrier, myself; I love how scruffy they look, and they’re sooo cute. Perfect size, perfect temperament, probably good with cats – though I’ve not checked this.

But ultimately, I think we’ll be happy if we can find a smallish terrier cross of some sort, with a cute face, a nose you can’t help parping like a bicycle horn, a massive personality and a whole heap of love to share.

A dog like Jack.

I want… to grow my own Homer Simpson potatoes

… or should that be “potate-dohs”?

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, one of my clients is ShinyShack, my very favourite place on the web to buy gifts, gadgets and cool stuff.

I drool every time I visit the site; apart from the must-have gadgets and daft toys, there’s a great selection of retro sweeties and other mouth-watering goodies.

But ShinyShack have gone and surpassed themselves this time.

Because their latest must-have item isn’t a gadget.  It isn’t a gizmo. It’s not a packet of sweeties. It’s a potato plant.

But this isn’t just any old potato plant.

It’s a potato plant that grows crop after crop of potatoes that look startlingly like Homer Simpson.

I’ve never felt strongly either way when it comes to genetically modified food. I’m sure it has its good points and its bad points, much like everything else.

But if genetic modification of our crops means that we can enjoy a potato salad, or a sunday roast, with lots of little Homer Simpson faces staring up at us from the plate – then count me in.

I want… all days to be as beautiful as this

This morning Mr Doo awakened me with a cup of tea, as usual, on his way out to work at 7.15am.  But unusually, instead of grunting the obligatory “love you, have a nice day” before falling back asleep, I woke up instantly… because as he left, he called out: “By the way, it’s snowed.  Look outside – everywhere is white.”

And he was right – it was.

I want… to keep Christmas cheap

So, there’s a recession going on, apparently.

The media reckons there will be 2m unemployed in the UK by Christmas, people are losing their homes, and it couldn’t happen at a worse time of year.

Businesses are struggling too.  Savvy managers know that during an economic downturn it’s best to increase marketing activities and budgets, but if the money isn’t coming in, how can you afford to advertise?

How I’m going to afford Christmas this year has been on my mind a lot lately.  Like many businesses in their first year, I could do with a cash injection.  And like many consumers, I wonder how I’m going to enjoy Christmas if I can’t lavish my loved ones with gifts (I’ve always loved giving Christmas presents; I’m gutted to be tightening my financial belt this year )

So, I had this idea two weeks ago about a website that would offer cheap advertising to businesses, but at the same time empower consumers to find and share tips for having a cheaper Christmas.

Keep Christmas Cheap is part campaign, part community, and I hope it’s of use to you, whether you’re a single mum on benefits or the owner of a website selling anything Christmassy.  If you like it, please tell your friends… you never know, you may be able to save someone’s Christmas

I want… to introduce the smallest snail in the world

My daughter just brought this little snail in to meet me, which she found on her bedroom window-sill.

I wonder if it’s the smallest snail in the world?  It’s certainly very tiny… in this photo, the snail is posing on a UK 5p piece (this is the UK’s smallest coin, at about 1.7cm diameter).

Anyway… how cute?  *grin*

I should explain that both my daughter and I have a real fondness for snails.  We’re also quite keen on slugs, which are basically homeless snails when you think about it.  There’s a little slug that lives in the overflow pipe of our bathroom hand basin.  He comes out at night to nibble the bits of soap that are stuck to the side of the soap dish.  We call him Slippy The Soap-Eating Slug.  Yep, we’re weird

I want… NOT to have tonsillitis :(

So, I’ve been suffering with a weird throat thing for the past few weeks, and it turns out it’s tonsillitis.

My tonsils have been inflamed and pitted for years – the legacy of two-thirds of a liftetime of smoking – but over the past few weeks it’s been really bothering me.  For the first couple of weeks, it felt like I had constant heartburn; you know, that acidic feeling in your throat, as if stomach acid is burning it.  Over the course of last weekend, however, it got worse, and I felt like I constantly had a sweet stuck in my throat.

I want… scented soy candles

Like a lot of ladies, I’m very fond of candles.  They add a lovely warm ambience to any room, they’re relaxing, the flickering glow is mesmerising, and if you buy scented candles they make the room smell gorgeous (always handy if you’ve got pets, like I have).

I want… to help translate the Bible into lolspeak

Lolcats fans might be interested to know there’s a project underway to translate the entire Bible into ‘lolspeak’, the language ’spoken’ by the cats featuring on lolcat sites such as icanhascheezburger.com.  Here’s a couple of lolcat pics for those of you not already familiar with the concept:

I want… to see the Dancing Queen

Apparently, whenever there’s a royal knees-up at one of the palaces, Her Madge likes to have a bit of a boogie to Abba’s “Dancing Queen”.  According to Chris Evans, HM has been overheard saying: “I always try to dance when this song comes on because I am the Queen and I like to dance.”