I want… to grow my own Homer Simpson potatoes

… or should that be “potate-dohs”?

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, one of my clients is ShinyShack, my very favourite place on the web to buy gifts, gadgets and cool stuff.

I drool every time I visit the site; apart from the must-have gadgets and daft toys, there’s a great selection of retro sweeties and other mouth-watering goodies.

But ShinyShack have gone and surpassed themselves this time.

Because their latest must-have item isn’t a gadget.  It isn’t a gizmo. It’s not a packet of sweeties. It’s a potato plant.

But this isn’t just any old potato plant.

It’s a potato plant that grows crop after crop of potatoes that look startlingly like Homer Simpson.

I’ve never felt strongly either way when it comes to genetically modified food. I’m sure it has its good points and its bad points, much like everything else.

But if genetic modification of our crops means that we can enjoy a potato salad, or a sunday roast, with lots of little Homer Simpson faces staring up at us from the plate – then count me in.

I want… all days to be as beautiful as this

This morning Mr Doo awakened me with a cup of tea, as usual, on his way out to work at 7.15am.  But unusually, instead of grunting the obligatory “love you, have a nice day” before falling back asleep, I woke up instantly… because as he left, he called out: “By the way, it’s snowed.  Look outside – everywhere is white.”

And he was right – it was.

I want… to keep Christmas cheap

So, there’s a recession going on, apparently.

The media reckons there will be 2m unemployed in the UK by Christmas, people are losing their homes, and it couldn’t happen at a worse time of year.

Businesses are struggling too.  Savvy managers know that during an economic downturn it’s best to increase marketing activities and budgets, but if the money isn’t coming in, how can you afford to advertise?

How I’m going to afford Christmas this year has been on my mind a lot lately.  Like many businesses in their first year, I could do with a cash injection.  And like many consumers, I wonder how I’m going to enjoy Christmas if I can’t lavish my loved ones with gifts (I’ve always loved giving Christmas presents; I’m gutted to be tightening my financial belt this year )

So, I had this idea two weeks ago about a website that would offer cheap advertising to businesses, but at the same time empower consumers to find and share tips for having a cheaper Christmas.

Keep Christmas Cheap is part campaign, part community, and I hope it’s of use to you, whether you’re a single mum on benefits or the owner of a website selling anything Christmassy.  If you like it, please tell your friends… you never know, you may be able to save someone’s Christmas

I want… to introduce the smallest snail in the world

My daughter just brought this little snail in to meet me, which she found on her bedroom window-sill.

I wonder if it’s the smallest snail in the world?  It’s certainly very tiny… in this photo, the snail is posing on a UK 5p piece (this is the UK’s smallest coin, at about 1.7cm diameter).

Anyway… how cute?  *grin*

I should explain that both my daughter and I have a real fondness for snails.  We’re also quite keen on slugs, which are basically homeless snails when you think about it.  There’s a little slug that lives in the overflow pipe of our bathroom hand basin.  He comes out at night to nibble the bits of soap that are stuck to the side of the soap dish.  We call him Slippy The Soap-Eating Slug.  Yep, we’re weird

I want… NOT to have tonsillitis :(

So, I’ve been suffering with a weird throat thing for the past few weeks, and it turns out it’s tonsillitis.

My tonsils have been inflamed and pitted for years – the legacy of two-thirds of a liftetime of smoking – but over the past few weeks it’s been really bothering me.  For the first couple of weeks, it felt like I had constant heartburn; you know, that acidic feeling in your throat, as if stomach acid is burning it.  Over the course of last weekend, however, it got worse, and I felt like I constantly had a sweet stuck in my throat.

I want… scented soy candles

Like a lot of ladies, I’m very fond of candles.  They add a lovely warm ambience to any room, they’re relaxing, the flickering glow is mesmerising, and if you buy scented candles they make the room smell gorgeous (always handy if you’ve got pets, like I have).

I want… to help translate the Bible into lolspeak

Lolcats fans might be interested to know there’s a project underway to translate the entire Bible into ‘lolspeak’, the language ’spoken’ by the cats featuring on lolcat sites such as icanhascheezburger.com.  Here’s a couple of lolcat pics for those of you not already familiar with the concept:

I want… to see the Dancing Queen

Apparently, whenever there’s a royal knees-up at one of the palaces, Her Madge likes to have a bit of a boogie to Abba’s “Dancing Queen”.  According to Chris Evans, HM has been overheard saying: “I always try to dance when this song comes on because I am the Queen and I like to dance.”

I want… to tell you how to get free sweeties!

I recently posted on a blog named desire about fancying a packet of Fizz Wiz Pop Rocks.

Well here’s a thing… turns out my lovely clients at ShinyShack love Fizz Wiz Pop Rocks so much, they want to share the love by giving away loads of free packets.

If you fancy giving this amazing exploding candy a try, all you have to do is subscribe to the ShinyShack newsletter, and they will send you a free packet of Fizz Wiz Pop Rocks.

Now that’s what I call a sweet offer…

I want… a jelly bean necklace

I have a real fondness for jewellery that’s a little on the unusual side.  I’ve never really liked the sort of stuff that’s mass-marketed and available just about anywhere – I’m more into hand-made pieces, or things I’ve found in obscure shops or websites – or even better, in other countries.

So, I was recently pleased to stumble upon Candyware, which has only one stockist in the UK – www.candyisbeautiful.co.uk.