I want… NOT to have tonsillitis :(

So, I’ve been suffering with a weird throat thing for the past few weeks, and it turns out it’s tonsillitis.

My tonsils have been inflamed and pitted for years – the legacy of two-thirds of a liftetime of smoking – but over the past few weeks it’s been really bothering me.  For the first couple of weeks, it felt like I had constant heartburn; you know, that acidic feeling in your throat, as if stomach acid is burning it.  Over the course of last weekend, however, it got worse, and I felt like I constantly had a sweet stuck in my throat.

I don’t like visiting the doctor; he’s nice enough (he was at uni with my friend’s husband, and once we discovered we had a mutal friend we really hit it off); but one of the receptionists is a real cow, and makes me feel like I shouldn’t be there, even though I’ve only visited the surgery half a dozen times in eight years.

Anyway, yesterday morning it got so bad, I felt like I was literally suffocating on my own tonsils and started to have a panic attack.  My daughter ordered me to call the doctor, standing over me while I phoned in for an appointment.  By the time I finally saw the doctor, several hours later, I’d convinced myself I was dying of throat cancer and I was a real nervous wreck.  When he looked into my throat and calmly announced: “Oh yes, tonsillitis” I burst into tears with relief.  Then it all came out, about how stressed I’ve been lately; I’ve been working 12-14 hours a day, and I’m dreading Christmas because I’m still grieving deeply for my nan, who was my best friend in the world and sadly passed away in December 2007; I feel like Christmas will never be the same again.

Gwion was very sympathetic, letting me pour out all my stresses and worries, and told me that the stress has made me run down, and that’s why I’ve got tonsillitis.  I have the most amazing immune system of anyone I’ve ever met (in fact, Gwion wants to investigate the possibility that I have an over-efficient immune system, for a number of reasons which I won’t go into); but I suppose even the best immune system has its limits.

So now I’m on penicillin, and nicotine patches to stop me smoking (I’ve tried to give up several times over the years, but I think this is the first time I’ve ever really meant it).  And I’m going to make sure I take some time out to relax.  Because if there’s anything I’ve learned from losing my nan, it’s this: life’s too short for stress and worry.  My nan was a born worrier, and it made her so ill over the years, that when she caught C-Diff in hospital during a routine test, her immune system wasn’t able to fight it.

If you’re stressed about work, or money, or absolutely anything, please don’t suffer in silence; go to see your doctor, and get him or her to help you find ways to deal with your stress… your immune system will really thank you for it.